Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Spirit

They’re trying to change the force
Killing the need
These feelings of remorse
Can’t take the time to feed
Drawing near to the final note
I can’t read the closed caption
I’ve got a dozen knives under my coat
Each with a dying notion
To deny a God in everlasting motion

Do I have doom written on my forehead?
I see the world encased in brimstone
A place where everyone who is not dead
Lives in eternal fear of being alone
Where would the world be without Heaven or Hell?
No death to call our own
Am I already dead? I can’t tell
Is this world for loan?
Then where would we call home?

Like a vampire under the sun
I’m burning with a cold demise
This regret weighs a ton
But I’m under a great disguise
I’m too cold to touch
You’re so warm to kiss
After all these years I don’t feel much
You were the beginning of my bliss
After I’m gone, I will sorely miss

I want to rip out my still breathing lungs
I’m sick and tired of this shit
Even the shadows have tongues
They’ve got the gun and I’m the hit
Jesus had let me choose
The darkness now has a name
My mind and soul begin to fuse
Nobody knows how it came
These shadows that I can’t tame

The trigger has been pulled
Another dead tonight
More sin to be fulfilled
I was breathing in the blight
Oh, can you lick?
The pleasure from between
Was I just sick?
From the horrors I’ve seen
Hanging the rope was just too keen

We’ve all been buried in the ashes
Dying to know the eternal answer
We really wanted to see Jesus’ back lashes
To help us deny the internal cancer
Died to give another chance
But we wasted it on vanity
Constantly looking for gods to enhance
Constantly questioning the Holy Trinity
We all wanted to be the divinity

Was it the last breath in you?
When you stabbed that knife
In my back and thought it was through
When you stole my life
And gave me this disease
Now I don’t know what is right or wrong
The self-pity is coming with ease
Can’t you tell by this song?
That I never did once belong

I can’t begin to sit down and explain this
Why humanity has grown sick with pride
The sex on the streets; I wish
I wasn’t in fear or didn’t have to hide
In the dark place where light will shine
I will rise over the burning blaze
These thoughts that I know are mine
Cloudy visions that blur to a haze
But I can still see deep within my heart’s gaze

We have become jealous of the throne
We always wanted to be judge and jury
Of all the sins we’ve ever known
Too bad we can’t escape Heaven’s wrath and fury
Or we would have to pity ourselves
For all those who possess the power
They’re just lying to themselves
Because even in man’s darkest hour
God will be there to take us higher

How many horrible years will this go on?
All these memories I can’t erase
But I continue to look for a brighter dawn
Counting the blessings with my heart’s race
They’ve been cooking something horrible
I can smell the pain boiling
Now all the lies seem tolerable
To hide the truth from spoiling
Anything to keep the depression from recoiling

Just step inside the black box
Say a prayer and count the beat
Your shallow existence is but a mock
To a God without defeat
How much sin is being pulled
Can you cover the unholy mask
The beast will make you nulled
Take away all but a spark
Leave just enough to infest with the dark

I want to break through the mold
I want to know my life is important
I’m tired of being sick and cold
The whole world is falling on a slant
Are you too shallow to fill
The holes dragging you below
Or do you have a magic pill?
That will let the blood flow
To take even you to a new low

My faith cannot suffice
The blood spills from my mouth
My fate is but a roll of the dice
There will always be more sin to send me south
Always new lies to test my belief
Hell was just down the street
But finding her was a great relief
The demons were never ever discreet
Slaying them would be my life’s treat

Why do I feel so forsaken?
My face is showered with a thousand bullets
My own identity is mistaken
I saw the monster in every blood let
The devil’s snakes are crawling through my hair
Hell is on my last wing
What atrocity will it take to bare
The sin of man for all angels to sing
Will they remove the nail from the King of Kings?

A million souls will take to the line
All of them with a crying remorse to save
And there will be two million demons to dine
For the souls follow the regrets like a slave
We were all just trying too hard
To be the savior we will not become
Maybe life just dealt us a bad card
Breeding our children to be the lonesome
Being weak with pity was just too bothersome

I remember the sins that brought me here
I remember the last loves I used to feel
For every scar there are three tears
With the Devil’s dogs biting at my heel
Was this the only path to take?
My spirit hangs low with regret
All the wrong choices to make
Before the face of God I fret
I fear that even God has a little regret

The human spirit can fly so high
Yet we torture ourselves so low
When we smile when our mothers cry
We deserve to be dragged below
Let the dogs of Hell tear me apart
Just let me touch her face
So that I know the truth in my heart
I dream of her in white lace
Let my screams be heard throughout space

Give me peace enough to pray to Heaven
I will shed my blood and give my praise
Etched into my hands are the sinful seven
Even in my darkest hour I will raise
I will not give up on this life
The demons will fall that hath
Destroyed the hope in my life
When everyone else is dead I will stand and laugh
And so, alone, I will walk the Sinner’s Path



End

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