Ascension To Nothing

Chapter One:  Children of Dust

 

I found myself drifting upon a midnight’s eve

Sinking further into the night’s embrace

Dreaming dreams that do deceive

Wishing upon stars of fallen grace

No longer the child of silent dreams

Just the child of awoken screams

 

Drowning beneath the sea of misfortune

Suffocating on my own desire

I’ve lost the song and the tune

No longer can I light the fire

That will enrage my soul

Out of this bleeding hole

 

Crawling out the eyes of God

Another soul of misery

Another word to curse God

Even beyond my own hypocrisy

I’ve lost my mind

Lost my mind

 

I scream and I crawl

Trying to hold onto her hand

But she’s just beyond the collapsing wall

I’m slipping on time’s sand

Falling farther

Screaming louder

 

I can’t escape these thoughts

Death erodes my skin

And everything I’ve ever sought

Is below my own sin

I am my own worst enemy

Falling out of divinity

 

Further seems the thorn

Digging into my back

Faced with death and scorn

And where my mind does lack

I awake with new blood

And I taste the new flood

 

Shapeless shadows in the night

Beating the drums of Hell

In a flame of no light

There are no jokes left to tell

Eat your own eyes with a spoon

And sleep until the next doom

 

A crack in the glass

A mother crying rape

But under this chapel mass

There’s a gun under the preacher’s cape

Bow your head

And know you’re dead

 

God broke the mold

We said our lies and made our toys

Every time a second sold

Helpless joys

The same old black and white

But we use color just to spite

 

The serpent made his dues

Eve said her prayers

And the Book left its clues

But where are the slayers?

To make things right

In the unforgiving night

 

Falling stars on Earth’s ashes

Time to sell it

With the stigmata of slashes

Time to fake it

Again and again

You know it’s within

 

She wanted to be an angel

But devils, they do lie

I couldn’t see the truth beyond a false angel

Made to worship, made to die

She cries on the frost

Of a cold heart long lost

 

So many lives broken

People hurt, I hurt

Always to be forsaken

And buried in the dirt

Pick up the pieces of scorn

For the truth was never born

 

I will break the chains

But Death is around the corner

Everyday just a new pain

I dress as the angels’ coroner

Under this house of scars

Driven to lies buried under so far

 

I will be gone

And she will be left behind

In the dark so cold and alone

Breaking the walls of my mind

Was it just a nightmare?

Something more than a frightful scare

 

Cut so deep

Screamed so loud

She looks down into the deep

She screams so loud

Lost the only thing that was real

Cutting wounds that will never heal

 

It came to be Judgment Day

They gathered their tears

Like a boat drifting away

Their hopes turned to fears

Hollow their hearts

Ripping them apart

 

The lid closes shut

Prayers now just hidden whispers

Trembling lips sown shut

As a heart’s desire disappears

With demons lurking underground

She wears a black wedding gown

 

The light fades to black

Darkness reigns

In a world with God to its back

Light slain

Forgive us Father, again

For we are sin

 

The cold blisters

The sun holds no meaning

Death has its listeners

Just listen to the meaning

We killed our God for lust

We are the Children of Dust

 

Chapter Two:  Without Any Regrets

 

There have been endless nights

Too much pain to believe

Too much time without light

Like a cool gust through the trees

I know no other truth than

There will always be love to span

 

A breath of cold air escapes my throat

The silence deafens the air

A graveyard inside Heaven’s moat

The silence means there is despair

Swallowing whole the meaning

That was lost before the beginning

 

The road splits in half

Time tries to stand still

But there is always a devil to laugh

Always having to fight uphill

But what time doesn’t know

Will only fuel the fire for right now

 

The world turns so slowly

Within a galaxy of cancer

Eating out the blood vessels quickly

Until it’s even bloodier

Than what we could ever imagine

Truly Hell just to fathom

 

We sip upon the skulls of our fathers

Drinking the oil of the rich

Our ears deceived by liars

And our minds twisted with the sick

We think we’re the winners

When we’re just the sinners

 

Dominos of Fate collapse

Promises made but not kept

As history just tends to relapse

And we were left here and wept

Collecting the ashes

Blowing away lost wishes

 

Reality is consumption

Consumption is reality

Can you feel the compassion?

Of my own loathing frailty

No, it’s just untrue

My prayers are not through

 

The spawn of our own desire

That which burns us all

The passion ignited like fire

From a summer’s eve to a winter’s fall

We burn to burn

And our inner demons are born

 

In her eyes the sorrow

Deepening fears of misery

It won’t be gone tomorrow

But we will reveal the treachery

In our souls

In our bitter-sweet souls

 

I see the love behind the stare

Pleading and begging

Biting her soft lip, unaware

That my heart is melting

Like shadows passing through Hell’s gates

We are lovers on the edge of Fate

 

The pain slithers in like a worm

Taking pills to put on a happy face

But deep down we’re just the wretched germ

In some deep dark lonely place

Crying for our god to forgive

We’ve lost the will to live

 

The rain comes pouring down

Trying to wash away all our deepest regrets

But look in our eyes and you’ll see the frown

When everyone we see is just another threat

The glass may be half filled

But there will always be some spilled

 

The soil sinks in

And the world never knew

When the moon grew dim

When blood was in the dew

We fell out of our thrones

And our castles crumble to the unknown

 

The world rests on the edge of a needle

The tidal waves are building

Whatever prayers lie within the steeple

Are now falsely concaving

We are all the addicts

Of God’s closed attic

 

There’s a vampire under the sun

He knows the world is lost

A child of the Devil’s son

All that ever was, mattered most

Now just a painting on the wall

A faded memory we never even saw

 

Is that blood on my fingertips?

Or have I gone completely mad?

Voices whisper their hidden tricks

Hurting those close to me; I’m so sad

Another haunted night passes by

Don’t tell me it’s over, don’t say goodbye

 

When I scream so loud

When I see the face of the Ghost

I tremble and cry aloud

Taking my place among the fearful lost

Just hold my hand this one time

And shield my eyes from dark crimes

 

Can’t speak; afraid to talk

I’m so afraid of what lurks around

Outline my body with chalk

Break these chains that I am bound

Redefine my world

Fix my mind’s broken chord

 

I reach out but can’t touch

Life is fading, escaping, slipping

I’ll rip out my eyes and bleed much

Just to know you’re there breathing

If I die I will still care

I will still be standing there

 

I’ve bled out all my sins

I’ve walked the dark lonely path

I squeezed the evil out of my veins

Suffered many years and felt God’s wrath

Don’t you cry and don’t you fret

I’m leaving this world without any regrets

 

Chapter Three:  Veins of Clay

 

Everywhere I look all I see is fear

A fallen grace with broken wings

No one understands, no one comes near

But my mind plays with paranoid things

Is it just simple demonology?

Because my fears feel hungry

 

The world falls beneath a blanket

Of pain and shame

Our pity takes hold of God’s hatchet

Who will bleed and who will be to blame?

No one hears the truth of prayer

As eternal night becomes our children’s savior

 

Don’t talk, I’ll suffocate

Your mind unravels the twisted plan

As my eyes gaze upon only the desolate

For I am the shell of a broken man

And you’re just a spoon over the flame

Burning with a disease of everlasting shame

 

Behind my eyes is a frozen ice

It was just another life flushed down the drain

As black rose petals threw the wrong dice

She bleeds in the shadows inches from the sane

With a sharp razor for a plaything

She is an angel without wings

 

The lights have gone down

Two lovers lost in their own drowning

Neither afraid to drown

One will live; the other will die crying

Never again to hear her name

Whispered softly on the fears that came

 

One more lick to heal the scars

Time will only fail

To bring together the moon and mars

Only self-destruction will prevail

As I tried to destroy myself today

I looked down the barrel of decay

 

The children of dust gathered on Sunday

Eating their Bibles and trusting lust

Cutting open their veins of clay

Feeding the worms and maggots with red crust

Crumble, crumble little chapel

You’re not even real people

 

You speak with a black tongue

Inside out it rots

Spitting out feces with every word sung

My ears, the blood clot

Don’t look at me face

I don’t want the blame of your disgrace

 

Inside the gray is lonesome

Broken, misused, abused, and led astray

Transcending a realm that grows tiresome

As God’s tears fall from the moon’s bay

These words are forsaken

While your pity is mistaken

 

A constant battle with padded walls

Is it real or another vision?

The sutures of insanity take their toll

With this abomination of treason

Why won’t the Heavens answer?

While my bleeding throat is struck with cancer

 

The machine controls the organs

Tissues ooze out of every orifice

Can you hear the phantom play his organ?

Do those whispered prayers suffice?

Dissolve from reality

Lost all my humanity

 

Through my heart

Through every lost cause

It tears me apart

Just because

I am the disease of infected

I am the lost and rejected

 

When silence becomes the master

We’ve fallen through the strings

Stole the seeds from Death’s harvester

Just small putrid little things

I slammed shut dream’s door

And awoke to find my own war

 

Chapter Four:  RorriM

 

I was born to darkness that day

Too many tears to count

Too many broken hearts to lead away

These evil roots sprout

My time forlorn

And I am reborn

 

They tried to stitch my eyes shut

They called me a monster

I look away, don’t want to see the cut

My eternal lover

Follows behind me down Hell’s stairs

To every corner of my mind’s dark lair

 

Don’t waste your time

I’m already inside the cancer

Your honesty is a mime

Deceiver

The pillars haven fallen

My faith in your trust stolen

 

This violence is senseless

The screaming never ends

All your hate directed at me, you’re mindless

I can’t even raise a hand to defend

I can’t even speak

Your tongue spits all that is weak

 

The bathroom walls are covered in grime

The pictures are nothing but rust

Just faded memories of an ancient crime

And I’m just here to become dust

I am the mud in your water

To cover your breasts like a dirty lover

 

My God, my God

I’m just another hopeless case

My perseverance gone

Can’t keep up the same old pace

Everything to lose, nothing to gain

It’s just the same old game

 

You won’t take the time to listen

You can’t look past your pride

Regretting all the time your missin’

Friendships all in stride

But your fears wont be the god of me

And your fallen tears won’t rule over me

 

Washing the chains of oblivion clean

I am the addict of my own slave

Encapsulate the hate that you deem

These visions dance to enclave

Would you love the pain if it weren’t real?

Would you bleed too if you could kill?

 

It falls beneath the waking hour

To a place where victims live

A place where you’ll love to cower

You don’t even try to strive

Flowing down the waterfall of destruction

What lies behind your eyes is the only obstruction

 

The worms of hell sip on your soul

Dreaming of what resurrection could bring

Ashes of skin black as coal

Sitting on thrones with maggots as kings

When your god is a vampire

You’ll bleed the song of a liar

 

I see the sin in your ashes

I see the pain behind your hate

I’ll watch as your world collapses

And light a candle on this date

I am your fallen hero

Counting your life down to zero

 

I pulled back the scar

And saw a reflection of you

Driven the nail down so far

Trails of blood follow everything you do

These scars will not lie

And these scars will not cry

 

The knife of God is affliction

You cry but you don’t feel sorrow

Your art is suffocation

For you, there is no tomorrow

Only a past you can’t conceive

Only in death will you believe

 

Everything I am is drained

Slowly dying

The picture fades, but I am sustained

Slowly rising

Feed all that is wrong

In a world where I don’t even belong

I am nothing but a disease

The lethal injection

In a gas chamber where you suffocate with please

No holy interjection

No phone call from the governor

Just darkness in a black summoner

 

Six feet under is my heart

I took a pill to make things better

But then I ripped my tongue apart

And swallowed my heresy for later

Nothing tells me more

Of deceit than a worthless dead whore

 

You smile but I see behind it

You lied, you killed, you fucked

I’m so distant from all of it

And now I’m the one who’s fucked

Don’t smile again

These wounds never mend

 

All you do is lie down

Just a cheap sex fiend

Wearing your pornographic crown

Just the devil’s friend

The real world hurts you

The real words hurt you

 

My dreams are teasing

The horror of it all blooms

The mirror is freezing

Toxic as death’s fumes

Skin to black, drown to suffer

Sin is back, crown the killer

 

The worms ate the maggots

The maggots ate the sinners

The sinners made a god of the maggots

The worms now believers

The new Christ of terror is born

And now all believers are ashes to burn